Waking Up

I feel like I'm waking up after being asleep for, well, years. I've always thought I like to hike and be outside, but I rarely have done it, because I'm just so tired, or in pain, or hopeless. It has been nine days since I had a partial hysterectomy (which went very well) and I've been over to Longwood gardens three times already. It turns out I really do like to be outside. Today I wanted to draw. Not just felt like I should want to draw, but actually wanted to. It has been so long. I'm having fun with my kids. I have so much more patience. Apparently always being in pain makes one somewhat short tempered. I thought I was just a grouchy mom.
I'm meeting myself again, not my illness, mental or otherwise, but me. I'd forgotten so much of who I am. It's like seeing an old friend after years of separation.  And , I actually kind of like myself. WOW. Who'd have thought. I didn't realize how much I'd lost of me until I've started getting it back. I'm crying now, happy tears. I am so overwhelmingly grateful. Yes it's a lot of work. Yest the surgery was kind of intense and I'm still recovering physically. I'm not all there yet, but I'm on my way and I'm so excited to see what comes next.

Steven brought me flowers and we went out to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my last period ever the Wednesday before my surgery.